Balanced Chaos (The Void Series Book 3) Read online

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” Sam whispered.

  “What?” Jeffery demanded, stepping forward until he towered over her. “That we despised the latest half-breed Heywood had brought into our family… and that we hated you for being ranked above us… you… neither fae nor vampire… the runt of…”

  “Shut up,” Sam shrieked through her tears.

  “Make me,” Jeffery said, driving a half-hearted thrust into her sternum.

  She stumbled back, landing in a tangled heap with the desk chair and her unpacked duffel bag. Sam looked up at him, her amazement at his actions growing. Jeffery arguing with her was surprising enough, but actually becoming violent was beyond her belief.

  “Jeffery?”

  He took two steps and grabbed the front straps of her sports bra, his fingers scraping painfully across the cougar wound, as he dragged her to her feet.

  “You have been a pain in the ass to everyone in Heywood’s gang. We couldn’t even scrape together the ruins after he died. And don’t think I don’t know why he died,” Jeffery added. “I know what he did to you near the end. I know the dirty secrets you hope no one hears about. You and Captain Reynolds!”

  Sam felt her own anger consume her astonishment—anger and fear. Even Reynolds’ name brought fear to her heart. But Sam was good at masking her fear.

  “No!” she shrieked, her gift rallying to the tremors of her emotions. “Nothing happened!”

  “Sure! That’s what all whores say!”

  “I’m no whore!”

  Jeffery dropped her against the wall, and Sam stumbled, her one good ankle barely supporting her weight. She stumbled, grabbing the wall to support herself. As she struggled, Jeffery landed a punch, hitting her in her mauled shoulder. Sam shrieked in pain, unconsciously calling her gift forward.

  At the last second, she threw up her walls, bringing her gift back under her direction. It fought her control, but she won.

  In that brief second, Jeffery grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out of the corner, flinging her toward the doorway. She skidded across the gleaming floor, colliding with the door frame. Sam let out another cry of pain.

  “Fight me, bitch,” Jeffery called, “or are you afraid you can’t take me after all?”

  Sam glared up at him for a split second before forcing her anger off her face. She looked at the floor and carefully spit the blood from her split lip. Slowly, she rose to her hands and knees.

  “No. Whatever you say, Jeffery, you’re my friend.”

  “And you’re just the slut Heywood scraped off the sidewalk,” Jeffery said before driving a kick into her ribs. “From what I hear, not even your mum wants you!”

  Sam refused to give Jeffery the satisfaction of her response. She continued to stare at the floor as she held her stomach and fought to control her gift. It raged within her, frantic to defend her from the monster before her.

  Where’s Werner? Why hasn’t he come back?

  A tear dripped off her nose, mixing with the blood pooling on the floor beneath her.

  “At least she has some tender thoughts for you in there somewhere. Better than that soldier boy. He said you’re nothing but a cheap one night stand?”

  Despite her efforts, Sam couldn’t help but look up at Jeffery.

  “That’s what I thought. Don’t worry. He plans to have you… just once. Wants to know what sleeping with a fae is like. I told him you’re perfect for the job. Done that type of thing before and all…”

  Sam felt her gift burst past her boundaries and, for once, she didn’t care. Her gift wrapped itself around Jeffery’s vampire power, and she gave a mighty jerk. It took enough in one mighty gulp to nearly fill her tank, but Sam was not satisfied. She felt it going immediately to her wounds, quickly opening room in her tank.

  Sam grabbed the desk and dragged herself to her feet. Before she could think of a plan, she swung at Jeffery’s head, using the vampire strength given to her by his stolen power. Her fist plowed into his face, driving him off his feet and sending him sprawling backwards.

  Jeffery landed right where she had a moment ago. She grabbed the office chair and smashed it over the desk, splintering off a leg as she stalked toward him, already able to put weight on her injured ankle. Sam grabbed him by the neck, lifting him up with on hand until he dangled just off the floor. With the other, she held the chair leg preparing to drive the splintered wood into his chest.

  “Sam,” called a calm voice from the doorway.

  She jerked her head around, straining to see the new threat without releasing the vampire. “What?”

  “Let him go,” Werner said from the doorway, his right hand hovering over his sidearm.

  Sam’s eyes flicked to the weapon before she turned back to glare at the vampire. Jeffery had gone limp, all fight gone from his eyes. In fact, he was tilting his head as though to reveal his precious carotid artery in the ultimate pose of submissive.

  “Sam, Jeffery started the fight on purpose. He didn’t mean the things he said. Not any of it.”

  Sam tilted her head to catch Werner’s words, unable to look at him. Her gift raged against the boundaries she had unconsciously built. Her tank was emptying as her body used up Jeffery’s powers to heal her various wounds, and her gift was more than ready to fill it again at Jeffery’s expense. Unlike her, it was not ready to forget what had been said and done. She looked up at the vampire, still limp in her vampire-powered grasp.

  Jeffery opened his eyes and gave her a sad, tired smile. “There’s my powerful girl.”

  Slowly, Sam lowered Jeffery to the ground and dropped the chair leg. Jeffery reached out and brushed the blood-matted hair out of her eyes.

  “Don’t hide from your gift, Sam,” he said, “or the power it has. Or it will eat you alive. Trust me, I’ve been living with a hunger like yours for a lot longer than you. If you hide from it, if you pretend it doesn’t exist, then one day it will break free, and it will do a lot more damage than if you accept it and work with it each day.”

  Sam swallowed the lump building in her throat. “You did all this to force me to use my power again?”

  “You needed to be healed,” Werner said from the doorway.

  “Shut up! I’m not talking to you,” Sam said without turning to look at the soldier.

  Jeffery glanced down at his feet. “I made up all those stories, told all those horrible lies, just to get you to fight me. I had to make you accept your gift. I didn’t know what else to do.”

  Sam nodded. “You’re a good friend, Jeffery. You just have a really messed up way of showing it.”

  The vampire nodded. “I’ll try to do better next time.”

  “You just do that.”

  “Well, I better get back to the colonel,” Jeffery said before patting Sam on the shoulder and squeezing past her. “We’ll catch up later.”

  Sam nodded to him. “I’m going to take a shower.”

  “Sam, we should talk,” Werner said, still standing in the doorway.

  “Leave me alone,” she snapped, grabbing her duffel bag and shoving past him. She marched down the hallway to the communal bathroom.

  Philip watched Sam hoist her duffel bag over her shoulder and trudge out of her room. She was angry, not just at what had happened, but at him specifically. He had orchestrated the entire attack. She had every right to be angry at him.

  When he had arranged with Jeffery to get her to attack the vampire, he had never imagined Jeffery would say such awful things or resort to include him in the myriad of taunts. Philip closed his eyes as he thought back over Jeffery’s words. Jeffery had actually suggested to Sam that Philip was just trying to get into Sam’s pants. Worst yet, Sam seemed to believe it.

  The soldier slumped onto the edge of her rumpled bed, glancing at the stains left by her old wounds. She would need fresh sheets before she slept again. He scanned the room, left bare except for the shattered desk chair. Like the sheets, the chair would need replacing.

  Philip rose and went to work. Wit
hin a matter of minutes, he had stripped the bed, replaced the sheets, and tossed the splintered wood. A new chair would have to wait until the proper requisition hoops could be jumped through, but at least she wouldn’t have to worry about splinters.

  Philip took a deep breath before leaving Sam’s room and heading toward the communal bathroom positioned at the end of the hallway. He stepped inside, a wall of humidity striking him in the face. Silence met him, suggesting she had finished showering.

  “Sam?” he called.

  “I’m fine, Corporal. I don’t need a protection detail in the shower, despite whatever you were hoping.”

  Below the belt, he thought to himself. “You really believe all that crap?” he called out as he followed the sound of her voice to the farthest row of stall showers.

  Philip stopped short, making sure to leave plenty of distance between himself and the stall she had chosen. He had to convince Sam that Jeffery had made up everything he said to get her to attack, and he wouldn’t do that by barging in, especially if she was still getting dressed. Philip let out a silent sigh.

  “Surely you know me better than that, Sam.”

  “I know you were plenty quick to agree to make-out with me at the Newberry’s.”

  Philip rolled his eyes. “You asked me to do that. You said Mrs. Newberry needed… needed our… sexual energy.”

  Man, that sounds wrong, he thought to himself.

  Sam stormed out of her stall dressed in black cargo pants and a teal tank top, her pixie haircut splayed out in all directions. With her eyes afire, she looked ready to tear his heart out. She stormed up to him, poking him in the chest.

  “And you just give that out to whoever asks?”

  “I give what’s asked when it’s to help a dying woman,” he said, staring down at her, trying his best to stay calm.

  Truth was, he wanted to slam her against the tiled wall and show her his sexual energy all over again, but not if it cost him her friendship. They had a long, difficult task ahead of them, and it couldn’t be done as enemies.

  “Sure you would,” she said with a sneer. “Bet you say that to all the ladies you seduce.”

  Sam turned and elbowed past him, but Philip reached out, catching her at the last second, his hand on her waist.

  “You came to me. You asked me. And since then I haven’t done anything to you, or with you. Not once. I have kept my distance, no matter what I might want. Those are not the actions of a man who’s trying to seduce a woman.”

  Sam dragged her eyes up to his face, a brief moment of vulnerability in their white depths.

  “Jeffery made up that story to rile you up. I am not here to seduce you and leave you. That is not the sort of man I am.” Philip reached out and stroked her cheek, the heat of her shower still warming her skin. “But that doesn’t mean…”

  He never finished his sentence. She turned into his touch and tilted her face up, giving him just what he wanted. Their lips touched, sparking a heat in both their chests. Philip grabbed her, picking her up and letting her wrap her legs around his waist. Just as he had fantasized, he pushed her against the tiled wall, pinning her with his hips. He grabbed one of her hands, twining his fingers through hers and trapping the hand above her head.

  Her free hand grabbed the muscles of his shoulder, digging in with a perfect mixture of pain and pleasure.

  Philip groaned before plunging his tongue into her mouth, exploring her depths until she emitted her own whisper of pleasure, bringing a smile to his lips. He pulled his hand free from her fingers, his smile remaining when her freed fingers found a new home in his short hair.

  With both his hands free, he gripped her hips and pulled her away from the wall, spinning until he walked her into the shower stall, kicking the door shut with his foot. The door thumped, causing her to flinch in his arms and break their connection. Philip stopped mid-kiss to her neck. He forced himself to loosen his grip, though he desperately wanted to pull her closer as she tensed in his arms.

  “Put me down,” she whispered.

  He obeyed, even going so far as to take a step back.

  “Sam…”

  “Suit up. We need to visit Jason before we stake out the drop point.”

  “Sam, wait!”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Sam, wait!” called Werner, but Sam ignored him, grabbing her duffel bag as she marched out of the shower stall and continuing on through the large communal bathroom. She didn’t stop until she reached the safety of her own bedroom. To her amazement, her stained sheets had been changed for crisp fresh ones, and the shattered remains of the chair she smashed had been swept away. The room was pristine.

  Her chest twinged as she realized no one but Werner would have done this. A glower crossed her features as another thought crept into her consciousness.

  Unless he’s just trying to win points with me to get me to have sex with him.

  Her heart had a different message entirely: Philip is a good, kind man, you fool. You know he isn’t trying to do that. Jeffery was just making shit up that would piss you off. Why are you listening to those lies?

  Sam slumped onto her bed and grabbed her boots, slamming her feet into them and lacing them up. At least my ankle doesn’t hurt any more, she thought. It was the first thought that made solid sense to her. Everything else bouncing around in her mind was at war with her heart. The two could not come to peace with each other, and the more they raged, the more ridiculous she felt.

  She didn’t want to be this sort of woman, torn between two emotions to the point of immobility. She felt frozen, trapped between fear and desire.

  “No,” Sam said aloud to her empty room. “He doesn’t control me, whatever he wants.”

  She grabbed her leather jacket and put it on as she stumbled out of her room. Werner was already waiting for her, dressed in his full gear, sidearm strapped to his hip. Sam swallowed, trying not to notice how good he looked.

  “Sam, please, can we talk?”

  “We have work to do. I need to see Jason.”

  A few minutes later, they waited outside Jason’s studio apartment, Sam’s emotions a turbulent uproar. On the short walk to Jason’s new home, she had felt two more of Roman’s bizarre hotspots. She had barely managed to keep her reactions hidden from the corporal as she tripped over her own feet, but she’d come up with some lie or other. Sam couldn’t even remember what she had said. The more she found Roman’s runes, the more her feelings for him slipped away, replaced with cold doubt.

  What is Roman doing? And more importantly, how is he getting back into the Res? she wondered as the door swung open to reveal Amber, Sam’s best friend.

  Without hesitating, Amber threw herself into Sam’s arms, barely giving Sam a chance to recognize Amber’s features. Belatedly, Sam realized Amber’s empathic abilities allowed her to know who was waiting beyond the door.

  Amber quickly pulled back and turned to stare at Werner. Sam turned with her to find the soldier poised with his hand on his sidearm, as though Amber’s sudden movements had startled him, but within seconds he removed his hand from his gun and relaxed into his usual stoic façade.

  “What’s this?” asked Amber.

  “My personal protection detail. Amber, this is Corporal Werner. Corporal, Amber Tin.”

  “Ma’am,” Werner said, sounding like his old self again.

  “Pleasure to meet you. Come in,” Amber replied, escorting them in as she looped her arm with Sam. “What’s going on?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Amber jerked her head back toward the silent soldier.

  “Nothing.”

  Amber raised a knowing eyebrow, having no doubt sense something unusual between them with her powers.

  “It’s nothing,” Sam repeated, willing herself to believe her own words.

  Amber gave her a smirk, but left the lie alone.

  “Nice of you to visit,” Jason said from the table without looking up from the array of herbs spread out across the kitchen table.


  “Be nice, Jason,” ordered Amber.

  “I need your help. We were attacked last night and the fae found a way to take me out of the fight. Those who know about it are in Solitary, but when they get out they’ll spread the word. I need to know how to block the attack.”

  Still looking at his work, Jason spoke. “You need to know a lot more than how to block one type of attack. You need to begin your actual lessons.”

  Sam let out a long, slow breath, willing away her frustration. “And when I have the military off my back, I will, but until then I have to appease them.”

  “There is no appeasing the humans—no offense,” he added, nodding to Werner.

  Werner shrugged, the movement barely visible within his gear.

  “You need to make time to come to me and take lessons.”

  “If it will help you stay safe, Sam, let’s make the time,” Werner said, piping up for the first time.

  Sam glared at him. How dare he talk? That is not his job!

  She scanned across the faces of Amber and Jason, hoping for some support from them. Amber looked as pleased as a new mother and Jason looked as though Werner had become his new best friend.

  “We don’t have the time,” she said, turning her glare back on Werner.

  “You could at least come an hour a day. I can see to that and I’m sure the lieutenant colonel would agree if I explained.”

  “This isn’t any of your business.”

  “It is as it pertains to your increased safety.”

  “Good. An hour a day!” announced Jason. “Now, what attack was it precisely?”

  “It was a fae who could make me believe I was in complete agony. I thought he was only causing imagined pain, but when I woke this morning my injuries were back to how they were the morning after the massacre,” Sam said, squeezing her eyes shut as she struggled against the images of that night.