Balanced Chaos (The Void Series Book 3) Read online

“Is there an idea of mine you do think is a good one?” asked the colonel.

  Sam pulled her gaze away from his eyes. “You probably don’t want me to answer that.”

  “Jeeze, Sam, you’ve got a pair on you!”

  “Sir?”

  “He means your balls,” offered the major. “Lieutenant Colonel Gallagher is saying you have large balls for speaking to him like that.”

  Sam let out a long sigh. She was digging a deep grave.

  “Sir, with all due respect, you are making a mistake. I am not strong enough to handle these artifacts. You need the clan leaders for this.”

  “Didn’t you say you were the strongest fae in the reservation?” asked one of the officers from the meeting.

  Sam turned to find most of the brass had clustered behind her to overhear her argument with the colonel.

  “There’s a difference between brute strength and finesse. I’m a right hook. The clan leaders, working together, are a poisonous dart straight to the heart. There’s a difference. In a bar brawl you want me. In an assassination attempt, you want them. Do you see what I mean, sir?”

  Gallagher glanced at the men squeezed into the narrow space. “I’ll think about it, Sam.”

  “But, sir…”

  “That’s enough!”

  Sam flinched, suddenly aware she had crossed the line. The colonel held out a finger pointed at her face and gave her a glare that could have melted her spine. Sam had never been one for worrying about authority, until she met the colonel. He frightened her without even trying.

  “I’ll consider what you’ve said. You’re all dismissed,” he added, addressing the other officers.

  With that, the colonel turned away and stomped back to the central hub. Major Halstead nodded for her to follow, and so she did. She limped after the two men, straight into the colonel’s office. Gallagher leaned against his desk, staring at her until she began to squirm.

  “You have made it perfectly clear that you do not agree with every decision I have made.”

  Sam opened her mouth to speak but one look from the colonel had her slamming her jaw shut again.

  “But if you ever argue with me in front of my men again, I will have you kicked out of here so fast your ass will leave skid marks. Have I made myself clear?”

  Sam nodded, too upset to speak.

  “All right. Now take a seat and let’s figure this out.”

  Gallagher walked around his desk and took his seat.

  Sam looked up at him, blinking away the pressure building behind her eyes.

  “Sir?”

  Halstead guided her to one of the chairs and took his own seat.

  “You were making your case for why we needed the clan leaders,” the colonel said. “Continue.”

  “Uh,” stuttered Sam as she tried to clear her head; finally, she let out a long sigh. “Legends talk about the various relics almost as if they have a mind of their own. They tell stories about people using them and having them turn on the user.”

  “Well, my men don’t intend to use them.”

  “They might not intend to…” Sam trailed off, knowing what was left unsaid could be more eloquent than spilling it all out.

  Gallagher frowned on her. “What do you mean? They’re human. They can’t use fae relics.”

  “These relics are ancient. They are so old they have powers of their own. I can’t be sure a human wouldn’t be able to activate them, without even meaning to. The point is I don’t know. This is where the clan leaders will know more. Trust me, it is killing me to say this. It’s these bastards that made me a leper among my own people, but they’re still the ones you need.”

  The colonel nodded. “Fine. See if you can set up a meeting between me and these clan leaders of yours. Take…”

  “Corporal Werner,” offered Halstead.

  “That’s another thing,” said Sam before they could finish the meeting.

  Gallagher let out a long-suffering sigh. “Yes, Miss Gollet?”

  Sam cleared her throat, nervousness making her squirm in her seat. But she pushed forward all the same. “I can’t take Corporal Werner anymore.”

  Halstead glared at her, no doubt thinking about her verbal foible. Sam glanced at him before averting her eyes. Gallagher caught the quick exchange.

  “Fine. I’m sure the major can find you a different escort.”

  “No, I mean I can’t take an escort out anymore.”

  “Miss Gollet,” the colonel growled, “you are walking precariously close to the edge.”

  “Let me explain. I have to be approachable. If you want me to go talk to the fae, or the clan leaders, or the vampires, they have to feel free to say whatever they damn well please. And they’re not going to feel that way with a human hovering.”

  “They already know you work for us.”

  “Yes, and they know I’ve lived, like them, under the yoke of the humans my whole life.”

  “The yoke of the humans? Don’t you think that’s a bit much?” demanded Halstead.

  “Tell me, Major, have you ridden in a car before?”

  “Yes, of course?”

  “And you’ve drunk alcohol.”

  “Yes?” Again his response came out sounding more like a question.

  “And you chose to go into the military? It wasn’t forced upon you?”

  The colonel leaned back in his chair, a little smile playing at his lips.

  “Of course I chose it.”

  “And you have enough food, and enough heat in the winter. Your children have enough text books in their classrooms for all the children, and they learn history all the way up to modern times. They do not end with the assassination of JFK?”

  “What are you going on about?”

  “I’ve never ridden in a car. The only time I’ve seen beyond these walls was a glimpse out of one of the guestroom windows on the second floor of this building. I’ve never tasted alcohol. Every job I’ve had within the reservation has been assigned to me. Most of the time, by the end of the month I live on noodles because the reservation has run out of meat and vegetables. In the winter time we are not allotted enough energy to heat our homes. One winter when I was a kid it was so cold they forced us to double up with other families so that they could send electricity to only half the units and actually have a chance at keeping us alive.

  “In school, we don’t have enough books so we share. And the books are from 1958, so we run out of material to cover. I graduated from ‘high school’ when I was fifteen. As you well know, as per the rules of Federal Mystics Bureau residents of the reservation are supposed to live with their parents until such time as they marry.

  “Everything we do is based on the rules set out by the humans due to the limitations of the reservation’s resources.”

  Sam felt tears press against her eyes and begin to spill over her lids.

  “So, you really want to tell me I’m overreacting when I say ‘the yoke of humans?’”

  Halstead swallowed the lump in his throat and shook his head.

  Sam blinked furiously, ashamed to have cried, and turned to look at the colonel. “You send me out with a human escort and whoever I am supposed to talk to will clam up. They may know that I’m working for you, but they may still share their true thoughts. But with a human present? Do you really think they will feel free to share how they’re hurting, or how they need this or that? Especially with your guards who are trained to be… stoic?”

  “You’ve made your point, Sam.”

  Sam pressed her lips together. Her day had been long and tiring. She didn’t have much left.

  “But I’m still concerned about you being out on your own. After all, I found you being attacked. Someone has it out for you.”

  She rolled her eyes, half to keep back the tears that threatened to flow again. “You found me kicking ass.”

  Neither men laughed.

  “If they see me walking around with a shadow they’re going to view me as nothing but one of your puppets. You w
ant them coming to me with their problems.”

  “You’ve already made it pretty clear that you’re a leper to them,” stated Halstead.

  “To the fae, absolutely, but not to the vampires, werewolves, or mages. Not by a long shot.”

  “I’m still concerned about your safety.”

  “I’m tougher than I look, Colonel!”

  “I have no doubt about it, but that doesn’t mean you’re indestructible.”

  “Colonel, you send me out there with a guard, you’re asking me to do my job with one hand tied behind my back.”

  “Maybe, but at least whoever has it out for you won’t attack you.”

  “You really think that?” Sam asked, staring Gallagher straight in the eye.

  “Yes.”

  “You’re a fool.”

  “You’re dismissed.”

  Sam pushed herself away from his desk and stomped out of his office.

  “Your duffel is behind my desk,” Halstead said as he followed her out.

  “Is there something wrong?” Sam asked as she grabbed the bag. “You’ve been angry with me ever since I got back.”

  “Nope, not angry,” he replied, sounding just as distant.

  “Okay. Not angry. But something is wrong.”

  Halstead stared down at her, looking more like the formal military officer she had first met rather than the friend she thought he had become.

  “I guess I’ve realized you’re really just a child in need of maturing,” he said before turning on his heels and walking away.

  Sam stared at his back in complete shock. What just happened?

  Slowly, she turned and limped back to her room. Sam dumped her bag in the corner. Too tired to unpack. She flopped face first onto the bed, perfectly content to stay there.

  A mere second passed before a rude knock interrupted her solitude.

  “Go away,” she growled into the blanket.

  “Sam?” called a recognizable voice.

  “She’s not here,” she replied.

  Annoyingly, the door creaked open and Roman let himself in. She heard the door shut and the rustle of his clothing as he leaned against it.

  “Rough day?” he asked after a short pause.

  “I said she’s not here. Go away.”

  “She looks ‘here.’ Sounds ‘here’ too.”

  “Nope.”

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Can’t. ‘Cause she’s not here.”

  Roman laughed again and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “For the record, that was the best meeting I’ve ever been in. Never seen anyone stand up to the brass like that before.”

  “Well, I had it handed back to me tenfold.”

  “Somehow I doubt that.”

  Sam carefully rolled over, wincing as she rubbed her sore shoulder.

  “The colonel’s pissed at me.”

  “Well, you did kinda bust his balls in front of his men.”

  “What’s with everyone and balls today?”

  Roman smiled. “Maybe next time, address your concerns in private.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Made that note already.”

  “You okay?” he asked, taking on a more serious note as he brushed her white hair out of her eyes. “I was worried about you. When we heard about the fight… I should have stayed.”

  Sam brushed his hand away and pushed herself up into a sitting position, leaning against the wall for support.

  “It’s not your fault, Roman. If you had stayed behind… if you had joined in on the fight, all you would have accomplished is getting yourself trapped in this hell-hole.”

  “But you wouldn’t have left in pieces.”

  “I’m healing.”

  “Barely. Why haven’t you taken some power from a vampire? I’m sure one of Heywood’s old crew would let you take from him if it meant you healed completely.”

  Sam shook her head. “I’m done with all that. I won’t take power from anyone ever again. At least… not if I can help it.”

  “Did Breena’s power help at all?”

  “You mean the power you made me take?”

  Roman stared at her, completely lost as to her meaning.

  “I didn’t want to take anyone’s power, and you just threw her to the wolves.”

  Roman’s lips tweaked up as he tried not to laugh at her pun. She smacked him in the shoulder, using her good arm.

  “This isn’t funny, Roman. You just handed her over without a second thought.”

  “Actually, I thought about it, and thought it would be easier on you to take a little from a willing friend than from some stranger who was being forced into it. And I knew Breena would be willing to help you out.”

  Sam just glared at him, not exactly mollified.

  “Now,” sighed Roman, “did her powers help your wounds any?”

  “I pushed it into the transformation so fast it didn’t have much of a chance.”

  “You should take more, just to get you healed.”

  “No, Roman.”

  “Okay. Okay. I just worry,” he said, scooting closer. “I should have stayed.”

  “Roman,” she sighed.

  Roman cupped her cheeks, tilting her face up to look at him. His hands were hot. “Don’t,” she whispered.

  “Don’t what?”

  “You know… It can’t be like that anymore.”

  “And why ever not?” He leaned a little closer, luring her with his warmth.

  “My gift wants your power too much. I’m a risk to you.”

  “I’ll take the risk.”

  Sam pushed against his chest with her good arm, trying to remember her own reasons as she felt his sculpted muscle beneath her fingers. “No, Roman. We can’t. We shouldn’t.”

  “Sam,” he whispered, her name sounding more like a dictum than a name. “I want you.”

  And weak as she was, Sam gave into him, melting against his chest and opening her mouth to welcome his touch. She suddenly found her hands sliding up his molded chest. One even grabbed his tie and pulled him closer.

  Roman’s lips quirked up into a smile as he found himself being dragged up against her. He braced himself against the wall with one hand while he wrapped his other arm around her waist and hauled her up against his chest. Sam let out a low squeak of surprise, but willingly gripped his neck as her tongue explored his mouth.

  She had forgotten how much fun it was to kiss the mage. She took a deep breath, completely unaware of her gift slinking up along the walls of her boundaries. Slowly, as if it hoped to trick her, her gift slithered past her tattoo and into Roman, sipping from his power. Just as she forgot the taste of his lips, she forgot the feel of his power feathering over her sensitive skin. It teased and enticed her, begging her to take more.

  Roman dragged her away from the wall and carefully laid her down on the mattress, never taking his lips off her body. He worked his way from her lips down her chin to her neck. There he found himself blocked by a snug t-shirt. His hands pulled at her shirt, ready to work it up her body and over her head.

  The feel of his hands on her waist sent her gift into overdrive, and it drank deeply from him. Roman gasped and braced himself against the bed frame. Sam opened her eyes and flinched, scrambling out from under him. She drew in her focus, drawing the lines of her tattoo in her head as she reined in her gift. It fought her and she battled it, beads of sweat forming on her pale brow.

  When she knew she had it under control, she spoke. “Roman, I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

  “Yes, it is, and you know it.”

  He took a deep breath. “We just have to work on a way for you to relax and keep control. We’ll figure it out.”

  “We can’t keep trying this. One of these days I’m going to end up killing you.”

  Roman reached out and stroked her cheek, ignoring her when she flinched. “No, you won’t.”

  He leaned in and gave her a simple, gentle kiss. Within seconds it began to heat
up again. Roman pulled away and gave her a sheepish smile.

  “I should go before I start anything again.”

  Roman rose and stopped at the door to give her one last smile.

  “You never told me, what are you and Mr. Sterling doing back in the reservation?” she asked.

  “The military is looking at doing more upgrades. Besides, rumor has it there’s a plastic crate in need of repairs.”

  Chapter Eight

  Sam woke to a firm knock on her door. She blinked a few times before groggily calling for the knocker to enter. Corporal Werner poked his head in, his traditional stoic expression firmly set in place. The smell of hot meatloaf wafted in after the soldier.

  “May I come in?” he asked.

  “Of course,” Sam said, determined to be on her best behavior.

  She quickly dragged herself into a sitting position and ran her hands through her short hair. He stepped through the door and presented a plastic plate piled high with meat loaf and mash potatoes.

  “Thought you might be hungry,” he said as he handed the plate over to her and pulled a set of utensils wrapped in a napkin from his pocket.

  “Thanks,” she murmured, amazed by his thoughtfulness. “Corporal Werner…I-uh…I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier.”

  “Major Halstead told you about my fiancée? Well, my ex-fiancée.”

  Werner took a seat at her desk, spinning the chair around until he sat facing her.

  Sam gave him a sheepish smile before digging into the generous meal before her. She chewed quickly before speaking again.

  “Still, I shouldn’t have made that joke.”

  “You’ve been put in an awkward position. You’re doing what you have to to cope. I guess I get that. Besides, I’ve been single for long enough now. I need to get over it.”

  Sam smiled around a mouth full of mash potatoes. Truth was, it was the best meal she had ever had, and she didn’t much want to talk during it, but if she was stuck with her bodyguard, she needed to make friends with him.

  She swallowed her bite. “I guess we’re stuck with each other.”

  “That we are.”

  Sam fiddled with her potatoes, creating shapes with them. She needed to make a few things clear with her bodyguard, but their new relationship was so delicate, she worried over each word.