Balanced Chaos (The Void Series Book 3) Page 18

  “You okay?” Werner asked as he gently grabbed her arm and pulled her behind him.

  Sam nodded, still coughing.

  “Let’s go.”

  Werner took her by the elbow and nudged her towards the door.

  “I’ll walk you out,” Ryan said in a properly subdued voice.

  Sam didn’t argue, but let the men push her out of the apartment that had once been her home—her unhappy home, granted, but her home.

  The three of them reached the central courtyard of her parent’s apartment complex and stopped. The apartment complex, if it could be called that, was built out of an old parking garage. Each level had apartments built against the exterior walls. Within was a central courtyard used by the residents as a safe place for their children to play. Today, the children were absent.

  “Well? Did you find what you needed?” Ryan asked without preamble.

  Sam nodded, still rubbing her throat. She coughed one more time as she casually took a step closer to Werner. Catching the corporal’s eye, she tried to give him a hint of what was to come, but she had no idea how to tell him, in just one look, all there was to say.

  “Dave is being poisoned by a group of fae who are also poisoning another person within the reservation.”

  “How do you know that?” demanded Ryan.

  “Because I’ve already been tasked with saving that person’s life.”

  “Okay, so who are they?”

  “We don’t know who the ring leaders are. We know who was making the poison.”

  “Was?”

  “The botanist is dead.”

  “You killed him?”

  Sam began to chew on her bottom lip. “No. They killed him after I flipped him and he began to feed us information.”

  “So then dad’s safe.”

  “Could be. Or they could have a stock pile of the poison. It’s impossible to say.”

  Ryan glared at her. “You knew all this when you made the deal with me, didn’t you? You knew the botanist was dead, and that dad’s poison was likely from him… didn’t you?”

  Sam flinched as Ryan screamed at her, but jerked her hand out when Werner stepped forward to intercede.

  “I knew,” she said, “but I needed you to agree to the deal. After all, what’s Dave’s life to me?”

  “Dad. Dad’s life! He’s your father!”

  “No, Ryan. He’s not. I’ve seen my file. I’m half fae. Not just the ‘half fae’ Dave used to call me to belittle me, but really, truly only a half-breed. How can two full-blooded fae give birth to a half-breed?” She paused to let that sink in. “Dave Gollet is not my father.”

  “You saying mom cheated on dad with someone in the Res? Like a werewolf… don’t say you think she cheated on dad with a guard!” Ryan sneered at Werner.

  “There’s always the mommy tunnel.” Sam blushed, suddenly realizing Werner would ask what she meant by that.

  “You’ve got to be joking. You really believe in that old myth?”

  Sam shrugged, trying her best to back pedal. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. C’mon, Corporal.”

  She turned and walked away, certain Werner would be right behind her.

  Chapter Twenty

  Philip walked behind Sam as they descended the spiral driveways of what must have once been a parking garage. He glanced around, amazed at the crumbling buildings and what her family was forced to live in. Dotting the driveway sat large pots, devoid of plants in the dead of winter. Philip suspected the inmates used them to grow gardens to offset what the reservation offered them by way of food.

  He let Sam set the pace as they worked their way down the driveway, knowing she was still upset over what just happened. If he was being honest with himself, he was upset too—downright livid actually.

  Philip flexed his fingers, forcing them outward before Sam could noticed his tight fists. He glanced at her, noticing how she tried to discreetly clear her throat. He could already see the faint signs of a bruise forming around her throat. Her S.O.B. of a step-father had done a number on her, that was for sure.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Philip asked.

  Sam nodded, and he didn’t believe her, not for a moment. Philip wanted to march back up to the tiny apartment and put a round in Dave’s head, but he forced his feet to keep moving forward, one step at a time. He knew, no matter how much Sam hated Dave, she would hate him more for killing her step-father, and that made him like her all the more. Despite all the armor she put up to protect herself, she was soft on the inside.

  Philip glanced at her face, wondering what she could be thinking. Her brows were puckered as she stared intently at the ground in front of her feet. Whatever she was thinking, it was all consuming and, based on her appearance, life altering.

  “Sam, please tell me what you’re thinking. You sound like you’re about to have a panic attack,” he said, grabbing her arm and dragging her to a stop.

  Sam took a slow, steadying breath before she looked up into him. “Kiss me.”

  Philip frown at her, wondering what in world had brought on this sudden change. She had just been attacked by her own step-father. Why in the world would she…

  Philip’s thoughts froze as he suddenly understood—or thought he understood—why she magically wanted him to kiss her. And somewhere deep inside, a little piece of his heart chipped away. The corporal settled his work-place mask over his features, the one he knew would hide the hurt forming inside him.

  “What?” he asked, giving himself another moment to adjust to the sudden turn of their conversation.

  “You heard me. I’m telling you. I want you to kiss me.”

  “Why?” She needed to explain to hear her own stupidity.

  “What do you mean why? Isn’t this what you wanted?”

  “I mean why now? What’s changed?”

  “You’ve saved my life, like, a billion times in the last twenty-four hours!”

  “So you feel obliged…”

  “No!”

  Philip stepped back and crossed his arms over his thick armored vest. “Then what is it?”

  Sam just stared at him, her face taking on the faintest hint of a blush. Werner was beginning to realize the tiny hint of pink was Sam’s version of turning crimson. Her lack of color didn’t allow for a human’s normal dark blush.

  “I just…”

  “Just what, Sam?” he snapped.

  Sam bit down on her bottom lip, and Philip regretted how hard he’d pushed.

  “Never mind. Let’s go. We need to get to that mage’s place,” she said, taking off at a quick walk. How am I going to recoup this? And why can’t she just tell me how she feels?

  Philip marched after her, his eyes scanning their surroundings as they walked to the intersection and beyond, ducking into the strange neighborhood where plastic crates had been placed in the streets to provide yet more housing.

  He had come to the Res with no real notion of what to expect, and yet it had been a shock all the same. The residents were packed in like cattle; yet he knew from overheard conversations and general scuttlebutt that plans were in the works to shut down one of the other reservations and shuffle off the inmates into the other four reservations, completely ignoring the fact they were already past capacity.

  Philip sighed and picked up his pace as they turned onto the mage’s street, or rather, his side walk. They reached the mage’s little plastic apartment and Sam knocked without hesitating. Like before, the petite brunette answered the door. Sam brushed the other woman aside and marched in.

  “What’s got her so tied up into knots?” the other woman asked, her eyes wide with surprise as she looked up at Philip.

  He shrugged, not sure he wanted to go into it with someone he didn’t really know. The woman—Amber, if he wasn’t mistaken—glanced back at Sam who was already talking with the mage.

  “Corporal Werner, isn’t it?” the brunette asked. “I don’t believe we were properly introduced. I’m Amber. Sam and I have been best friends
since we were in school.”

  Philip reached out and shook her hand. “Philip.”

  “I think we both kinda gravitated towards each other, both being ostracized by our people, though I didn’t have it as bad as her.”

  “Why were you ostracized?” Philip grimaced. “Sorry. That was rude.”

  Amber waved a delicate hand. “An understandable question, especially for a human… no offense.”

  Philip shrugged.

  “I’m an empath. Do you know what that is?”

  “You… you feel the emotions of others.”

  “And I can control them, if I so choose. Obviously people don’t like that notion.”

  Philip considered her words, immediately feeling uncomfortable in her presence. He tried to keep his poker face in place, but he quickly saw a knowing grin on her lips.

  “It’s okay, Corporal. Your response is natural.”

  “Sorry,” he mumbled, a feeling a shame washing over him. “Natural doesn’t make it okay.”

  It was Amber’s turn to shrug. “All the same, it did give me the best friend in the world.”

  “I guess that means you know Sam pretty well.”

  “I do. Which brings me to why she came in here ready to strangle you. I’ve never felt her so worked up before,” she added, another little grin playing on her lips. “You have a special way of making her feel… feel… I don’t know how to word it.”

  “Is it bad?” Philip asked, afraid of what she might say.

  “No,” Amber replied, drawing the word out as she considered her response. “It’s not bad. In fact, it might be the best thing I’ve felt in Sam in a long time.”

  Amber turned to look at Philip and leaned against the doorjamb. They both stood in the doorway to give master and pupil more room to work in the little apartment, even though it was February and they were letting in the frigid winter air.

  “Sam has spent most of her life shutting down her emotions, afraid that if she felt too much, her gift would better be able to control her. Unlike most fae, she looks on her gift as a separate being—almost like another person lives within her.

  “It makes her fight for sanity all the harder.

  “The reaction of her people, especially her family, has made the struggle all the more difficult. She lives on a knife’s edge, all the time, balancing herself and this other being, and this other being is always craving something she can’t entirely give in to. It makes for a difficult life. The result is, her own desires are often forgone.”

  Amber’s habitual grin widened into a full blown smile.

  “And then you came along.”

  “Me!” exclaimed Philip. “What have I done?”

  “Don’t play coy with me, Corporal. I’ve felt every emotion the two of you have felt when you’ve come to see Jason. You can’t hide your feelings for her, just as she can’t hide her feelings for you. The thing that confuses me is why the two of you seem to be fighting it so much.”

  Philip let out a long, frustrated huff. She was right, there was no point in hiding it from someone who felt everything they felt.

  His frustration disappeared as he replayed her words.

  “Her feelings?” he asked.

  “Yes. Now what’s going on?”

  “I don’t know. One minutes she’s hot, one minute she’s cold. One minute she’s on me like… like she a sex-starved maniac, the next she acts like a nun.”

  Amber pursed her lips as she tried not to laugh.

  “It’s not funny. It’s damn confusing.”

  “Corporal, the only man—I use the term loosely—to pursue her did so at the direction of his parents. It was basically an arranged marriage. She doesn’t know how to be courted. She doesn’t know how to love or be loved. And she definitely doesn’t know how to be loved by a human.

  “Do you understand what would happen to her if you two formed an actual relationship? Do you understand that the ostracization she has experienced so far would be child’s play compared to what’s coming, if your relationship became public?

  “All of this is going through her head, while at the same time, she’s wondering how in the world can you be for real? After all, your stay here isn’t permanent. Eventually, the National Guard will be replaced, and then what? You’ll move and she’ll be stuck here. So what good do these feelings do her, anyway?”

  Philip stared at her for a long moment. “All this you picked up from her emotions?”

  Amber gave him a sad smile. “No. I pick up how confused she felt, and how much she longed for you, and I connected the dots. I know my friend, I know how alone she feels, I know how much she longs for someone to love her, and I know how trapped she is within these walls. It’s not hard to put the pieces together.”

  Philip glanced over at Sam. She had her eyes closed, an orb of blue light cupped in her hand as she listened to the words of her teacher. He couldn’t fathom the inner workings of a mind so controlled it could balance the desires of a gift as powerful as hers, and yet so gentle it could want him.

  “Thank you, Amber. I don’t know if I would have ever understood her without your help.”

  “You still don’t understand her. It would take a lifetime to comprehend Samantha.”

  “I wish I had a lifetime to give.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Sam and Werner walked away from Jason’s apartment, each trapped in their own thoughts. The lesson with Jason had been a complete waste of time, or at least Sam thought so. She hadn’t learned one new thing, and that just increased her already pissy mood.

  “So what were you and Amber talking about all cozy like?” she asked, her voice sounding jealous even to her own ears.

  Werner shrugged. “She told me about her gift. And a bit about growing up with you.”

  “Huh.”

  “Where are we off to next?”

  “The Newberry’s. I’ve told Ryan that the botanist is dead, I might as well tell them too. Besides, we have a likely reason for why they’re poisoning his wife. I should tell them that too.”

  Werner nodded again. Sam balled her hands into fists as she picked up her pace. Was that all he could do. Just nod. She wanted to slap him. Or kick him. Or wrestle him to the ground… where she’d…

  Sam stopped her train of thought before she could picture herself tearing his clothes off. The fact was she didn’t know what she wanted from the corporal or what she expected from him. She knew she needed to get her emotions in check before they reached the Newberry’s and they were expected to become intimate, but the more she tried to reason out her emotions, the more tangled they became.

  There were just too many factors to consider when it came to Philip, a soldier and a human.

  Mercifully, they reached the Newberry’s before she could tie herself up into knots. She knocked on the door and a second later, Chad opened it.

  “Hey, Sam,” he drawled.

  “Shove it up your ass,” she said without raising her eyes to his face. “You’re dad home?” she added as she shoved her way into the apartment and headed toward the living room.

  “Yeah.”

  Sam entered the living room, the other two a step behind her.

  “Oh, Sam. We were hoping to see you this evening. Has there been any progress? Any at all? She’s not doing well. I don’t think she has much time left at all.”

  Sam stopped in her tracks, finding herself the center of attention. “She’s not the only one being poisoned in the reservation. It turns out my step-father is too.”

  “Step…father?” Mr. Newberry frowned at her.

  “Long story, but Dave is being poisoned, too. He’s a long way from being where your wife is, but it is for sure the same poison. I’ve found the botanist who made—”

  “You have!” exclaimed Mr. Newberry, jumping up from his seat. “Who?”

  “It doesn’t matter. He’s dead. Those blackmailing him killed him when they learned he’d talked to me.”

  “That means they can’t get any mo
re poison.”

  “Unless they already have a stock pile. I can’t be certain.”

  “So, in other words, you’ve gotten us nowhere,” growled Mr. Newberry.

  “We’ve also received a lead as to why. We believe they’re doing this because you brought me into the investigations of the previous murders. And considering my step-father is now being poisoned it is not difficult to assume I am the commonality.”

  “It’s always you,” grumbled Chad from the corner.

  “So that’s it then.” Mr. Newberry slumped back onto the couch.

  “I’m not giving up. I don’t do that.”

  “Nor do I,” added Werner from her side.

  Sam glanced up at him, surprised by his unusual interjection. The corporal normally stayed silent during these visits.

  “Well, what do we do to keep her alive?” demanded the distraught husband.

  “We feed her gift,” began Sam, ignoring Mr. Newberry’s blush, “and we examine the food you feed her before she ingests it. Are you feeding her fresh produce or meats?”

  “Yes. I thought that would help her. We’ve been splurging on it. It’s nearly wiped out our savings.”

  “No more fresh stuff. Only canned good. The older the better.”

  “What? Why?”

  “If its old stuff from the back of your cabinet then it’s less likely to have been tampered with by whoever’s doing it. In fact, if you can get someone you trust to do your food shopping for you, even better.”

  “Our neighbor can.”

  “Is your neighbor another fae?” asked Werner.

  Newberry glared at the human, as though offended that the human was talking to him. Sam wanted to remind Mr. Newberry that Werner was the higher ranking of the two. The fae had a weird way of looking at the world, despite living like caged animals.

  “Of course they are.”

  “No good. It needs to be a werewolf, vampire, or mage to do the shopping. Right now, the fae are all suspects.”

  Sam nodded, tracking with Werner’s suspicions.

  “A vampire? You think I should have a bloo-drinker buy my food?”

  Sam rolled her eyes. “Fine. I’ll send Breena over to you to do your shopping. Satisfied?”